tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Feb 23 04:39:21 1994
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KBTP: Jonah V2.0
- From: [email protected] (Mark E. Shoulson)
- Subject: KBTP: Jonah V2.0
- Date: Wed, 23 Feb 1994 17:37:37 -0500
Well, I've been sitting on it long enough, here's Version 2.0 of my famous
Jonah translation, star of stage and screen. I've added verse-numbers
(though they may not agree with the system in your Bible necessarily; there
are some minor differences here and there among Bibles). Comments
follow...
======
% The Book of Jonah, translated into tlhIngan Hol by Mark E. Shoulson
% ([email protected]). All rights reserved for now, blah blah.
% Version 2.0.
=1=joH'a' SoQ Hev *yona*, *'amItay* puqloD, 'ej ja'
=2=<<SuH yIHu'! *nInvey*Daq veng tInDaq yIghoS 'ej 'oHvaD yIjach
mIghtaH chaH 'e' vItu'pu'mo' jIH.>>
=3='ach joH'a'vo' *tarSIS*Daq Haw'meH Hu' *yona*.
*yapo*Daq ghIr 'ej *tarSIS* ghoSbogh Duj'e' Sam.
lengHuch nob, 'ej joH'a'vo' *tarSIS*Daq chaH tlhejmeH 'oH 'el.
=4='ach bIQ'a'Daq SuS'a' qaSmoH joH'a',
'ej bIQ'a'Daq ral muD Dotlh,
'ej Duj ghorlu' net pIH.
=5=Haj beq, 'ej joHpu'chajvaD jach Hoch,
'ej chaHvaD tISmoHmeH, Dochmey'e' ngaSbogh Duj woD.
'ach Duj DopDaq ghIr *yona*,
'ej Qot 'ej Dum.
=6=vaj ghaH ghoS Duj HoD 'ej ghaHvaD ja'
<<nuq Data', DumwI'? SuH yIHu', joHlI'vaD yIjach.
chaq maHvaD belchoH joH, vaj maHeghbe'.>>
=7='ej ja'chuq <<'Ivmo' maHvaD qaS wanI'vam qab 'e' wISovchoHmeH
maSuDjaj.>>
vaj SuD, 'ej *yona* le'moHlu'.
=8=vaj luja' <<SuH ghoja'; SoHmo' maHvaD qaS wanI'vam qab.
Qu'lIj nuq? 'ej nuqvo' bIghoS? nuq 'oH wo'lIj'e'?
'ej nuq 'oH qorDu''a'lIj'e'?>>
=9=chaHvaD jang <<*'IbrIy*ngan jIH, 'ej joH'a' vItoy'. bIQ'a' puH je
chenmoHta'bogh chal joH'e' ghaH.>>
=10=vaj Hajqu' loDpu'
'ej luja' <<nuq'e' Data'ta'?>> joH'a'vo' Haw' 'e' luSovmo', chaHvaD
[ngoDvetlh] ja'ta'mo'.
=11=luja' <<maHvaD jotchoHmeH bIQ'a' SoHvaD nuq wIta'nIS?>>
ralqu'choHtaHmo' bIQ'a'.
=12=chaHvaD ja' <<HIwoH 'ej bIQ'a'Daq HIwoD, vaj tlhIHvaD jotchoH bIQ'a',
jIHmo' tlhIHvaD ralqu' 'e' vISovmo'.>>
=13='ach puHDaq chegh'egh 'e' lunID,
'ach QaplaHbe', chaHvaD ralqu'choHtaH bIQ'a'.
=14=joH'a'vaD jach chaH, 'ej luja'
<<SuH, joH'a', loDvam yInmo' maHeghbe'jaj,
'ej 'Iw chunmo' ghopIchQo'. joH'a' SoH, Doch DaneHbogh Data' rIntaH.>>
=15=vaj *yona* luwoH, 'ej bIQ'a'Daq luwoD,
'ej ral 'e' mev bIQ'a'.
=16=vaj joH'a' luHajqu' loD, 'ej joH'a'vaD nob lumeQ, 'ej 'Ipmey 'Ip.
=1=nabmo' joH'a' *yona* ghup bIQ'a' Ha'DIbaH tIn.
'ej qaStaHvIS wej jaj wej ram je bIQ'a' Ha'DIbaH burghDaq ghaHtaH *yona*.
=2='ej bIQ'a' Ha'DIbaH burghDaq ghaHtaHvIS, joH'a' joHDaj qoy' *yona*.
=3='ej jatlh:
<<jISottaHvIS joH'a'vaD jIjachpu' 'ej mujang,
ghe''or chorDaq jIHtaHvIS jIqoy'pu'; ghoghwIj DaQoypu'.
=4=bIngDaq, bIQ'a' tIqDaq chongeHpu', 'ej muDech bIQtIq;
mujuSpu' ghorbogh yu'eghlIj HoSghaj Hoch.
=5=jIjatlh jIH
<<mInDu'lIjvo' vInge'lu'pu',>>
'ach chIrghlIj quv vInejqa'taH.
=6=qa'wI' Dech bIQ, muDech ghe''or, nachwIjDaq bIQ tI qatlu'.
=7=HuD HeHDaq jIghIrpu', reH yav mo'Daq qama' jIH,
'ach QIHvo' yInwIj DaSalmoH, joH'a' joHwI'.
=8=pujchoHDI' qa'wI', joH'a' vIqawpu', 'ej chIrghlIj quvDaq SoHtaHvIS
choQoy jIqoy'DI'.
=9=pungchaj lughajHa' ramwI' ngeb toy'wI'pu',
=10='ach tlho' ghogh vIlo'taHvIS qatoy' jIH'e',
Dochmey vI'Ippu'bogh vInobbej, toDbej joH'a'!>>
=11='ej bIQ'a' Ha'DIbaH ra' joH'a', vaj puHDaq *yona* SopHa'.
=1=joH'a' SoQ Hevqa' *yona*, 'ej ja'
=2=<<SuH yIHu'! *nInvey*Daq veng tInDaq yIghoS 'ej 'oHvaD
SoQ qajatlhbogh yIjach.>>
=3=vaj Hu' *yona* 'ej *nInvey*Daq ghoS, ra'mo' joH'a'.
veng tInqu' 'oH *nInvey*'e',
wej jaj poQ lengDaj.
=4=vaj vengDaq wa' jaj leng ghoS 'e' tagh *yona*
'ej jach 'ej ja' <<loSmaHleS *nInvey* pejlu'!>>
=5='ach joH luHar *nInvey* ngan,
vaj SopQo'ghach lura', 'ej Sut ghegh tuQ Hochchaj, potlhchaj ramwI'chaj je.
=6=De' Hev je *nInvey* ta', 'ej quSDajvo' Hu'.
ghaHvo' ngupDaj tuQHa' 'ej Sut ghegh tuQ 'ej lamDaq ba'.
=7='ej jach, 'ej ra'mo' ta' chuQunghotpu'Daj je *nInvey*Daq jatlhlu'
<<pagh'e' luSopjaj nuvpu' Ha'DIbaHmey je, 'ej bIQ lutlhutlhQo'jaj.
=8=Sut ghegh tuQjaj nuvpu' Ha'DIbaHmey je
'ej HoSjaj joH'a'vaD jachDI',
'ej Hechaj mIghvo' ghopDu'chaj ralvo' je chegh'eghjaj.
=9=qel joH 'ej QeH 'e' mev 'ej maQaw'be'lu' 'e' Sov 'Iv?>>
=10=Dochmey ta'bogh legh joH, Hechaj mIghvo' chegh'eghDI',
vaj chaHvaD qabwI' ta'meH Doch jatlhpu'bogh qel, 'ej ta'be'.
=1='ach belHa'qu' *yona*, 'ej QeH.
=2='ej joH'a' qoy' *yona* 'ej ja'
<<SuH, joH'a', wo'wIjDaq jIHtaHvIS vuDwIj 'oH Dochvam'e', qar'a'?
'ej vuDvammo' nom *tarSIS*Daq jIHaw'pu';
pungmo' ta'bogh 'ej qejHa'bogh 'ej QIt QeHchoHbogh 'ej mIghwI' qeltaHbogh
joH'e' SoH 'e' vISovmo'.
=3=vaj DaH, joH'a', jIHvo' yInwIj yItlhapneS,
HeghwIj QaQ law' yInwIj QaQ puS.>>
=4='ach ja' joH'a' <<QaQ'a' QeHlIj?>>
=5=vaj veng tlheD *yona*, 'ej veng 'et[????]Daq yInchoH.
vengvaD qaS nuq 'e' leghmeH
pa' juHHom cher, 'ej QIbDaq bIngDajDaq ba'.
=6=nabmo' joH joH'a' nachDajDaq QIb chenmoHmeH,
'ej mIghmo' toDmeH,
*yona* DungDaq Sal naH Sor.
'ej naH Sormo' Quchqu' *yona*.
=7='ach nabmo' joH qaSDI' tlha'bogh jaj jajlo' naH Sor HIv ghargh,
'ej QaDchoH.
=8=tujDI' Hov'a', nabmo' joH qaS 'et[?????] SuS,
vaj nach *yona* HIv Hov'a', 'ej vulchoH.
Hegh neHchoH, 'ej ja' <<HeghwIj QaQ law' yInwIj QaQ puS.>>
=9='ej *yona*vaD ja' joH <<naH Sormo' QaQ'a' QeHlIj?>>
'ej ja' <<HeghvaD QaQ QeHwIj>> [??]
'ach ja' joH'a'
=10=<<naH SorvaD bIvumpu'be' 'ej Dapeppu'be' 'ej
wa' ram SaH, 'ej wa' ram loj; 'oH Davup SoH.
=11='ach nIHchajmo' poSchajmo' mISbogh wa'bIp cha'netlh nuv latlhpu' je
Ha'DIbaHmey law' je ngaS *nInvey*, veng tIn. 'oH vIvupnISbe''a'?>>
========
*pause for applause*.
Now, you see I've done some heavy restructuring, in response to some
comments on the earlier version and also owing to my own change of style.
Some comments...
I finally lost that ugly "'amItay puqloD ghaHbogh yona'e'" in the first
verse; I was already using apposition anyway...
I droppped a lot of "-ghach"s, through recasting. Like "mIghtaH chaH 'e'
vItu' in v2, and lots of other places. Lost a lot of those superfluous
"'ej"s also, tho maybe not enough. coined "lengHuch" for "fare" as in
money to be paid to travel. Moved away from "jev" for "storm" in the sense
of the sea storming. This is a question: we don't know for sure that "jev"
is storm in the military sense, but that's where my money is. Note,
though, that "SIS" and "peD" are both verbs! So maybe I should stick with
jev. But I've gone to "ral" describing the "muD Dotlh", etc.
Lots of small improvements; you'll see when you read it. Went for
"le'moHlu'" when the lot falls on Jonah, sorta works.
Broke up a lot of big relative clauses, or at least moved them around into
other sentences to keep things a little less cluttered. It isn't as
literal anymore, but it's a whole lot more natural!
I can see the confusion of the nesting of "-mo'"s in 1:10; does using
"ngoDvetlh" help any?
Tried to be more careful about "joH" for "god" or "Elohim" and "joH'a'" for
YHWH; this is still a matter fo discussion in the KBTP and may be changed.
Went for "jISottaHvIS" instead of "'oy'wIjDaq jIHtaHvIS", looks nicer.
Changed "toDghach ghajmo' joH'a'" to "toDbej joH'a'". It's much more
idiomatic, and the "-mo'" wasn't really implied anyway.
Got more creative with "the violence which is in their hands" and made it
"their violent hands". Found a word for "demolish" and used that for what
happens to Nineveh; it's pretty close to the original, which means
something like "overturned".
Changed "wuqqa'" to "qel"; this works better: maybe God will consider some
more, i.e. give it some more thought. Maybe "qelqa'"; that he'll resume
considering?
Changed "pung ghaj" to "pungmo' ta'"; to imply "acting out of mercy".
And so on.... I'm running late. The last verses are much better, I think.
Check it out! Will be uploading to HablI Real Soon Now.
~mark