tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Dec 08 16:50:10 1993

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Anti-TNG rant



I posted the following rant to aus.sf.star-trek yesterday, after seeing
_The Mind's Eye_. It might prove entertaining to you; I dunno. Four letter
words are used freely therein. Herewith follow 30 lines of blank space:
tulghach Hoch yIlon, 'elwI'pu'!































>From aus.sf.star-trek Thu Dec  9 11:26:39 1993
Newsgroups: aus.sf.star-trek
Path: cs.mu.OZ.AU!mundil.cs.mu.OZ.AU!nsn
From: nsn@mundil.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Nick NICHOLAS)
Subject: Re: What did Picard say in Klingon?
Message-ID: <9334216.20961@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU>
Sender: news@cs.mu.OZ.AU
Organization: Computer Science, University of Melbourne, Australia
References: <2e3g6i$r7i@harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au>
Distribution: aus
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1993 05:05:29 GMT
Lines: 47

els323d@mdw023.cc.monash.edu.au (Mr W.A. Tall) writes:

>Last nights episode (Dec 7) had a scene where Picard and a Klingon
>leader "exchanged" words in Klingon.  
>Apparently they traded insults and the Klingon told Picard...
>	"Picard, you SWEAR very well.  There must be some 
>	 Klingon blood in you..." (or something like that)
>Okay here is the challenge... What did Picard say?
>...If you don't know, then make something up... have some fun!
>Here's a start... "You must have Ghac Shit for brains!"
>		   (Remember, "Ghac" is some Klingon food)

Oh fuck. Don't get me started on the Klingon on last night's episode...

Too late!

How does Picard say "thank you" in Klingon? "vitlaw'". "Apparently True".
Well it is *not* apparently true that you can speak Klingon, Yul Brynner
of the Enterprise; "thank you" in Klingon is "qatlho'".

Vagh says to Angry Anderson in Space "you speak the lies of a takek!" I bet
Picard would be honoured to be called a "prepared emperor [ta' qeq]" ---
but, Vagh is certainly a "ta' qoH" ("imperial foooool"). Vagh, you yIntagh 
[dumbfuck], taHqeq has an H in it which is pronounced as a
kh. As in Bach. As in Khomeini. As in Loch Ness monster. As in the sound
I make as I hawk and spit on your mother's smooth forehead, you dumbshit!

Ghaq means to contribute. The fine Klingon delicacy of serpent-worm is called
qagh, though you'd never tell watching TNG. As for "contribute", I suggest
someone contribute towards getting these yIntaghmey a language coach.

And how do Romper Stomper of Starfleet and Old Klingon geezer say to each
other "Success!"? kapla. "qap la'", perhaps--- "the commander insists"?
This commander insists you read your Klingon dictionary, where you'll find
it's "Qapla'". Q is the sound you make when something's stuck in your
thought. I'm sure I'd look a right royal berk if I was Picard, Intergalactic
Gorbachev without the birthmark or the three-piece suit, and something got 
stuck in *my* throat, and I went around gasping for air and saying "k! k! k!"!!

To answer your question, I have no idea what Picard said in Klingon. It
was angry, though; I'll grant you that.

***
"Relax." -- "yIleS." [Three seconds pause.] "Stop Relaxing!" -- "yIleSHa'!"
                                  --- the Conversational Klingon tape.
   Nick "I am not a Klingon. Much." Nicholas.    nsn@krang.vis.mu.oz.au
nIchyon jIH. nIchyon SoHbe'. nIchyon ghaHbe'. nIchyon tlhIHbe'. nIchyon jIHqu'.



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