tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Dec 08 16:50:10 1993
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- From: firstname.lastname@example.org.OZ.AU (Nick NICHOLAS)
- Subject: Anti-TNG rant
- Date: Thu, 9 Dec 93 11:49:35 EDT
I posted the following rant to aus.sf.star-trek yesterday, after seeing
_The Mind's Eye_. It might prove entertaining to you; I dunno. Four letter
words are used freely therein. Herewith follow 30 lines of blank space:
tulghach Hoch yIlon, 'elwI'pu'!
>From aus.sf.star-trek Thu Dec 9 11:26:39 1993
From: email@example.com.OZ.AU (Nick NICHOLAS)
Subject: Re: What did Picard say in Klingon?
Organization: Computer Science, University of Melbourne, Australia
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1993 05:05:29 GMT
firstname.lastname@example.org (Mr W.A. Tall) writes:
>Last nights episode (Dec 7) had a scene where Picard and a Klingon
>leader "exchanged" words in Klingon.
>Apparently they traded insults and the Klingon told Picard...
> "Picard, you SWEAR very well. There must be some
> Klingon blood in you..." (or something like that)
>Okay here is the challenge... What did Picard say?
>...If you don't know, then make something up... have some fun!
>Here's a start... "You must have Ghac Shit for brains!"
> (Remember, "Ghac" is some Klingon food)
Oh fuck. Don't get me started on the Klingon on last night's episode...
How does Picard say "thank you" in Klingon? "vitlaw'". "Apparently True".
Well it is *not* apparently true that you can speak Klingon, Yul Brynner
of the Enterprise; "thank you" in Klingon is "qatlho'".
Vagh says to Angry Anderson in Space "you speak the lies of a takek!" I bet
Picard would be honoured to be called a "prepared emperor [ta' qeq]" ---
but, Vagh is certainly a "ta' qoH" ("imperial foooool"). Vagh, you yIntagh
[dumbfuck], taHqeq has an H in it which is pronounced as a
kh. As in Bach. As in Khomeini. As in Loch Ness monster. As in the sound
I make as I hawk and spit on your mother's smooth forehead, you dumbshit!
Ghaq means to contribute. The fine Klingon delicacy of serpent-worm is called
qagh, though you'd never tell watching TNG. As for "contribute", I suggest
someone contribute towards getting these yIntaghmey a language coach.
And how do Romper Stomper of Starfleet and Old Klingon geezer say to each
other "Success!"? kapla. "qap la'", perhaps--- "the commander insists"?
This commander insists you read your Klingon dictionary, where you'll find
it's "Qapla'". Q is the sound you make when something's stuck in your
thought. I'm sure I'd look a right royal berk if I was Picard, Intergalactic
Gorbachev without the birthmark or the three-piece suit, and something got
stuck in *my* throat, and I went around gasping for air and saying "k! k! k!"!!
To answer your question, I have no idea what Picard said in Klingon. It
was angry, though; I'll grant you that.
"Relax." -- "yIleS." [Three seconds pause.] "Stop Relaxing!" -- "yIleSHa'!"
--- the Conversational Klingon tape.
Nick "I am not a Klingon. Much." Nicholas. email@example.com
nIchyon jIH. nIchyon SoHbe'. nIchyon ghaHbe'. nIchyon tlhIHbe'. nIchyon jIHqu'.