tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Oct 09 18:50:05 1998
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RE: KLBC bom (klbg)
- From: "Andeen, Eric" <[email protected]>
- Subject: RE: KLBC bom (klbg)
- Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1998 18:47:12 -0700
I'm going to include the standard disclaimer here: translating English
written by other people, especially poetry or song lyrics, is NOT a good
way to learn Klingon. You really need to learn to express your OWN
thoughts before you can even hope to be able to express anyone else's.
lab qulvIghro':
>
> Elvis Presleyvo' bomvam.
This is not a full sentence. I think you want to say "Elvis Presley
wrote this song", which would be <bomvam qon Elvis Presley>. Just as a
trivia question, did Elvis actually write this. I think for the most
part, Elvis did not write the songs he recorded.
> chaq 'oH lughovlaH Hoch.
>
> banglI' vImojlI'
Nice...
> ('e' vIQaHlaHbe'mo')
"I can't help it" is an English idiom, and doesn't really work here.
Think about what you (or in this case, Elvis or his songwriter) are
really trying to say, and then put that into Klingon. Don't get stuck on
the English.
> moDDaq qoHpu''e' neH lujatlh loDpu' val,
<moDDaq> does not work for "rush in". <-Daq> is a noun suffix, and you
just can't put it on a verb. What do you mean by "rush in", anyway? Act
before thinking, perhaps? Think about it and see what you can come up
with.
You don't need the <lu-> on the <jatlh>. In Klingon, quotations are not
the object of the verb; they just sit there. They can either precede or
follow the rest of the sentence. Many of use use the symbols < and >, or
<< and >>, to delimit quotes. It helps.
Finally, depending on how literal you want to be, you could consider
replacing <loDpu' val> with <valwI'pu'>.
> 'ach banglI' vImojlI' 'e' vIQaHlaHbe'.
Same comments about <... 'e' vIQaHlaHbe'>.
> jIratlh'a' qoj yem 'oH'a'?
I don't think you need the <qoj> here - I think it works better as two
seperate sentences. Even if you decide to keep it, it should be <pagh>
rather than <qoj>.
> banglI' vImojlI' 'e' vIQaHlaHbe'.
Same comments...
> bIQ'a'Daq vo'bejta' bIQtIq;
I think <vo'> is the wrong verb here. <vo'> is "propel". I think I would
suggest <leng> instead. You could also consider <vIH> or <jaH>.
The suffix <-ta'> does not belong here. Even if you can say the river
*intentionally* flows to the sea, the action is certainly not completed.
In fact, <-taH> would be perfect here.
The English compares the river flowing to the sea to the love of the two
people, and I do not really see that connection here.
> bangwI', rut qaSba' neH Dochmey.
Try as I might, I cannot make this fit into "Darling, so we go. Some
things were meant to be". I see that you are trying, but I just can't
twist it into that.
The one comment I will make here is that <Doch> probably cannot apply to
the "things" discussed in this song. I always limit it to physical
objects. We do, however, have a word which would fit into this meaning -
<wanI'>.
> ghopwIj Datlhap; yInwIj Hoch Datlhap je,
Both should be <yItlhap> - look up the imperative prefixes. Also, SuStel
may disagree with me on this, but I think <yInwIj naQ> would be better
here.
> banglI' vImojlI' 'e' vIQaHlaHbe'mo'.
See above.
This was actually a pretty good attempt, but translating poetry (and
song lyrics are poetry) is really tough. Poetry is filled with words and
sounds and constructions that are there because they sound good, and you
usually can't translate them without losing the intent of the author.
pagh
Beginners' Grammarian