tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Apr 06 10:56:03 1998

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Re: (no subject) [luSpet]



> Hi, this is my second attempt at klingon poetry. 
> peleD.

I think you mean {yIlaD} "read it."  

> LuSpet rur roj.
> Peace is like a black hole.

Never capitalize a Klingon word just because it begins a paragraph.  
{luSpet}. 

> bIr 'ej Hurgh 'oH.
> It is cold and dark.

It would make more sense in Klingon to write {bIr 'oH 'ej Hurgh}.  
Using the pronoun as you have, at the second opportunity is a bit 
like saying "Cold and it is dark."

> luSpetvamDaq jIH.
> I'm in this black hole.

maj.  

> DaH qul je wovghach qem veS jachmey.
> Now the cries of war bring fire and brightness.

I don't believe that {jach} is a noun.  You could use {bey} (howl) 
instead, that's a noun you might not know.  Problem with the object, 
though: firstly the conjunction {je} should go after all the nouns it 
joins, and secondly {wovghach} with the suffix on the bare verb is 
considered marked usage, to be avoided unless you want to sound 
awkward.

How about doing this with verbs:

DaH lumeQmoH veS bey 'ej luwovmoH
Now the howls of war make it burn and bright.

> bochqu'taH 'etlhlIj 'ej meQqu'taH tIqwIj. 
> my sword shines and my heart burns.

{'etlhlIj} is "your sword."  Also I think you are talking about the 
changes that take place at the sound of the howls of war.  {-choH} 
would be a better suffix than {-taH}.

{bochqu'choH 'etlhwIj} "My sword shines" [i.e. starts shining]

> jItlhabqu'.
> I am free!

maj.

> I think this is something a SuvwI'na' would dig qar'a'.

It's something Qov likes: careful attention to grammar in short 
interesting sentences that stretch your ability without trying to be 
so clever you end up in a heap.  

Qov


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