tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sat Oct 19 20:40:35 1996

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Re: Need your critique...



ghItlh DaraQ:
>I'm sure there are better ways to translate the following but I 
>would like you critique.
>
>We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his
>blood with me shall be my brother, be he ne'er so vile for this day shall
>gentle his condition, and gentleman in England now abed shall think
>themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap
>while any speaks who fought with us on St. Crispean's Day!!-Henry V
>--
>
> ghomHomma', ghomHomma' Quch, noDnI'pu' maH.

<loDnI'pu'> DaghItlhHa'ba'.

> DaHjaj loDnI'wI' ghaH 'Iwraj chIlbogh'e'.

Maybe use <regh> instead of <'Iwraj chIl>. And maybe use <moj> instead
of the 'to be' construction.

> mIghchugh ghaH QaQmoHchu' jajvam 'ej 
> quvHa'chuq QonoSnganpu' Qongbogh chaH SuvmeH naDev SaHbe'mo'. 

<Qo'noSnganpu'> DaghItlhHa'ba'.

> *QISpan jaj maja'taHvIS maH'e' qIchchuq latlhpu' Suvbe'ta'mo'!!

maj...

SeQpIr vIyajmeH Qatlh Qu' 'ach mu'meylIj vIyajchu'. majQa', DaraQ!

- DaQtIq



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