tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed May 01 16:19:44 1996

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Re: Galician translation



Mark Reed writes:
>Here's my attempt at a Hol version, with a more literal English
>back-translation besides:

I haven't gone through this in detail yet, but I wanted to point out a
couple of things while they were fresh in my mind.

>taH ghalISya'ngan Hol vIneHtaH          I want the Galician language to endure

"Galician language" should probably be simply {ghalISya' Hol}.  It's not
necessary to call it the language of the *inhabitants* of the place.  See
the TKD examples {DenIb[ya'] Qatlh} and {'orghen[ya'] rojmab}.

>taH juHpuHmaj 'e' qaSmoHmo'             I want this because only our language's
> neH Holmaj HoS net vIneH                 strength can cause our homeland to
>                                          endure.

I'd change that first line to the less wordy {juHpuHmaj taHmoHmo'}, and
{net} should be {'e'} because {neH} has a definite subject.  But the whole
sentence's word order seems a bit confused anyway; I need to look at it
more closely when I have the time.

>juHpuH Sub - puHmaj no'maj molmey je'   I hope that a new homeland
>- muv Holmaj 'oHbogh juHpuH chu'          which is our language
>'e' vIpar                                 will join the solid homeland -
>                                          our land and our ancestor's graves.

If I understand what you thought you were writing, {je'} should be {je},
and {vIpar} should be {vItul}.  I can't quite make that phrase set apart
by dashes fit right; maybe you need another {-bogh}.  And translating
"solid" literally might not be the right thing to do here.  Knowing what
the original Galician says would help a lot.  It looks like {-jaj} would
be a useful tool for getting across the sentiment.

>jIHeghpu'DI', juHpuHmaj tI vIje'taHvIS,   When I have died, when I
> chonaD DaneH'chugh, molnaghDaq yIghItlh   am feeding the vegetation of our
> "naDev QottaH qaStaHvIS latlh SaD DIS     homeland, if you want to praise me,
> taHpu' ghalISya' 'e' qaSta'bogh ghaH."    write on my gravestone: "here lies
>                                           he who caused Galicia to last
>                                           another thousand years."

I'd simplify the last line to {ghalISya' taHmoHpu'bogh ghaH'e'}, and
put {latlh} after {SaD DIS}.  {QottaH ghaH} is certainly not the way
a Klingon would put it, though.  {[vang] ghaH.  naDev 'oH lomDaj'e'.}
Of course, you are trying to translate a non-Klingon sentiment.

-- ghunchu'wI'               batlh Suvchugh vaj batlh SovchoH vaj




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