tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Jun 28 07:32:41 1995
[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
Re: Critiques, please...
According to R.B Franklin:
>
>
> On Sun, 25 Jun 1995 [email protected] wrote:
>
> > Here's an old log I wrote for my Star Trek sim...
> >
> > ----------------------------FKA302.LOG---------------------------------------
> >
> >
> > Computer, begin recording.
> >
> > Helm Officer's Log: Stardate 9503.01
> > Federation Standard version.
> > Lieutenant Sarah Barrows Recording.
> >
> > Well, the only thing interestin' that 'appened today was that
> > Commodore Kragg Zarr came ta visit. Seemed ta me that he and the
> > "tour guides", KiploH, Glock, and Glow, spent an awful lot 'o time
> > down in Engineerin', when they coulda been checkin' out the Bridge,
> > where I was at (as usual). But they eventually made their way up ..
> > boy, the Commodore was mighty impressive! Found out I need ta brush
> > up on Klingon society 'an whatnot ... 'an get me bloody ranks straight!
> > Lucky 'e didn't slice me in two fer bunglin' 'is rank ... who'd expect
> > ta call a Klingon Commodore a Cap'n and live ta tell about it?!
> > The Commodore said 'e'd send me some info on current Klingon
> > stuff, 'an I snatched it outta the mail queue soon as I saw it. Guess
> > I got a lot 'o readin' ta do...
> > Guess tha's all what needs ta be told fer now ... Computer, end log.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > yIqontaH De'wI'.
> >
> > QonoS DeghwI'wIj: Hutvagh paghwa' jaj
>
> You have the first two words transposed. Also, since "helmsman" is a
> being capable of using language, you would use {-wI'} instead of {-wIj}:
> {DeghwI'wI' QonoS} (My helmsman's log).
>From looking at the original, I suspect that the Helmsman is
actually WRITING the log, so the second {-wI'} should be
omitted entirely. {DeghwI' QonoS}.
> > Sar tlhIngan Hol.
>
> Here again I would switch the word order: {tlhIngan Hol Sar} (Klingon
> language variety)
Actually, I think I'd omit this line entirely. If you can read
Klingon, you already know this is the Klingon version. If you
can't then you don't. It's the kind of superfluous comment that
no honorable Klingon would utter.
> > qontaH Sarah Barrows Sogh.
>
> We don't really know whether ranks would come before or after the name.
> Many people on the List commonly put their rank before their name but
> since we have no canon on this, it simply a matter of personal preference.
ST5 places the rank after the name, but then they also place
noun conjunctions BETWEEN the nouns, so one cannot be sure how
much we are to consider this to be PROPER Klingon...
> yoDtargh
The rest of the response lived up to yoDtargh's usual high
standard.
charghwI'
--
\___
o_/ \
<\__,\
"> | Get a grip.
` |