tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Jan 23 18:18:50 1995

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Re: Next Effort



According to [email protected]:
> 
> Wow, I'm learning stuff already.  

This list is the best source *I* ever found for learning
quickly.
...
> cha'Hu' tachDaq jIvem.          Two days ago, I awoke in a bar.
> pay' pa'Daq paw cha' vaj.       Suddenly, two warriors arrived in the room.
> loDnI'chaj viHoHta'.            I had (deliberately) killed their brother.
> 'e' vIqaw vIleghDI'.            When I saw them, I remembered that.
> Sengbej ghu'vetlh.              This situation would surely cause trouble.

Either the Klingon should be {ghu'vam} or the English should be
"That situation".

>    Now, on to part two:
> 
> quSDaq ba'ta' vaj cha'DIch, chom yu'law'taHvIS wa'DIch.

Hmm. I'm tempted to question the use of {wa'DIch}, but
technically, it is a number, and numbers can be used as nouns. 

> Hopbe' quSDaj 'ach mutu'.

"His chair is not far, but he finds me."?

> vaHDajDaq pu'wIj vIQeyHa'moH.

Hmm. When I first read this, I was confused as to why "my"
phaser was in "his" holster. Now, I realize that you meant that
it was in "it's" holster. As a matter of style, I'd probably
still call it "my" holster, since I own it, even though it is
tightly associated with the phaser.

> muHaDchoH ba'taHbogh loDnI'

You could cut the tension with a taj.

> machovchuq.
> 
> vIHoHlaHchu' 'ej mubotlaHbe'chu'.

You might consider {-bej} instead of {-chu'} here. The latter
is not altogether wrong, but it implies a quality of execution
that seems odd here.

> 'e' 'ang mInDu'wIj 'ej 'e' legh.

You may be getting a little loose with the Sentence As Object
construction. I'm not sure. You want the conjunction to make
the two {'e'} pronouns essentially parallel. In other words,
both {'e'}s refer to the same previous sentence. This is
interesting, and I'm not sure if it is right or not. I can deal
with it, and I suspect pretty much anybody could understand it,
though it does not strictly fit the pattern as it is commonly
used. I'm open to other opinions here.

> I'm exhausted.  Please be gentle charghwI'.

You are doing remarkably well.

charghwI'
-- 

 \___
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 <\__,\
  ">   | Get a grip.
   `   |


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