tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Jun 28 08:58:14 1994
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Why Klingon Poetry Does Too Rhyme
Hu'tegh! nuq ja' [email protected] jay'?
=1. In English, there is a lot of flexibility in changing around word
=order, you can get away with "my dearest love", "dearest love of mine",
="mine own love dearest", and so on, which really helps with the way that
=you can combine and recombine words. Klingon, as we've all experienced,
=is more limited by structure, since the structure, to a fairly large degree,
=imposes meaning on the sentence. The O-V-S structure forces some kinds
=of words to come last, some of them to come first. Thus, you can't
=rearrange the words as nicely, and get the nice rhymy ones to come last.
In Esperanto, there is a lot of flexibility in changing around word
order, you can get away with "la klingono mortigas la teranon", "mortigas la
klingono la teranon", "la teranon mortigas la klingono", and so on, which
really helps with the way that you can combine and recombine words. English,
as we've all experienced, is more limited by structure, since the structure,
to a fairly large degree, imposes meaning on the sentence. The S-V-O
structure forces some kinds of words to come last, some of them to come first.
Thus, you can't rearrange the words as nicely, and get the nice rhymy ones to
come last.
The fact that Klingon syntax is restrictive should be no bar on rhyme, as
proven by the not much less resrictive syntax of English (when compared to
most languages on Earth), and indeed, as proven by my sonnets.
=2. All the suffixes.
Suffix rhyme is tolerated in many languages, e.g. Portugese and Modern Greek.
It is also not tolerated in several others, like Esperanto. I think it wise
to avoid suffix rhyme in Klingon, and I believe I have. Furthermore, most
suffixes are unstressed, so they don't contribute to the rhyme. e.g. loDvam
and SoDvam. The fact that Klingon morphology is restrictive should be no bar
on rhyme, as proven by the classically agglutinative Esperanto, and indeed,
as proven by my sonnets.
=3. Klingon simply has less word sounds available.
Klingon is not as sound limited as one may think, and there are languages
(like Italian) which work rhyme with much more limited phonological resources.
But the vocabulary is smaller, and this is a risk. Still, the fact that
the Klingon lexicon and phonology is restrictive should be no bar on rhyme,
as proven by Esperanto (although, granted, early Esperanto had some atrocious
suffix rhymes), and indeed, as proven by my sonnets.
=4. You end up tinkering with grammar in order to rhyme the suffixes. If
=there is a -ta' on one line, there is a good chance you'll need a -ta' on
=the next line... and you're stuck. Or, if there isn't, how are you going
=to be able to find another suffix that rhymes yet will work with the
=meaning? You might have to really mess with the
=grammar and structure in order to get something that "rhymes" prettily.
=Klingon just isn't suited for the idea of iambic pentameter, generally
=speaking. You have to bend it out of shape too badly.
You underestimate the ingenuity of poets and translators. You also
underestimate how insubstantial such tinkering (which I have to do regularly)
is to the eventual meaning. As proven by my sonnets, and by my rhymes in
_Much Ado_ and _Hamlet_. Rhymes that more or less maintain the meaning can
almost always be found, and if that -ta' has led you up a blind alley, you
make it a -pu', or you kill it, or you reorganise the subordinate phrases,
or *something*. Here's an example:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
...
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May.
Literally translated,
bov tuj pem Darur vIjatlh'a'?
...
belmoHbogh jar vagh tI puq QommoH SuS ghegh.
To get both pentameter and rhyme, this has ended up as
qaDelmeH bov tuj pem vIlo''a'? Qo'.
....
jar vagh tIpuq DIHo'bogh Seng SuS ro'.
Literally,
Will I use a summer's day to describe you? No.
...
The wind's fist smashes the buds of May we admire.
Was the twisting here that outrageous? I think not. Don't underestimate the
flexibility of verse.
=5. This next one is my own personal feeling, and has no real basis in
=anything other than what I think Klingons are like. Rhyming is sissy stuff.
=Klingons say what they feel from the soul. Poetry should be from the
=heart(s), to win a mate, or shame your opponent with his cowardice, so
=any order or structure on it imposed should be there to increase the
=feeling, not to make it "pretty". People don't rhyme off the cuff, they
=never have. Can you honestly see the mighty Klingon warrior laboring
=over his writing stylus... "what rhymes with tIq'a'?... hmm...
=bIq'ta'? Nonono, that's not it... hrmmm...." I can't.
Poetry is craft. This is as valid for free verse as it is for traditional
verse; the poet working in free verse needs to have, if anything, an even
more alert ear for sound and rhythm than the traditional poet --- and because
people don't know this, there are shitloads of god-awful chopped-up prose
being touted as poetry these days. Frankly, I don't give much of a damn if
rhyme is out of fashion in English these days; stale old Modern English isn't
what you should be looking at anyway, to appreciate the joy of new-found
rhyme in a language that hasn't had it before. Look at Chaucer, at the
late mediaeval religious and secular Latin songs, at Dante, at the Esperanto
poets of the '20s. And if you think poetry can't be spontaneous, then turn
away from this culture, and look at traditional cultures --- look at the
couplet improvisers in my native Crete, part of a culture that has rather a
lot to do with Klingon, and where they'd stab you as soon as look at you for
being called sissies. You're measuring rhyme in Klingon by contemporary Anglo
standards. Not valid.
As proven by my sonnets. ;)
=6. This is another reason, which is just my own opinion. Making Klingon
=rhyme like English is... well, silly. Why in the galaxy SHOULD Klingon
=rhyme like English? Why should it rhyme at all? It's like putting
=skirts on the natives when we go out to convert them or something. If we
=just put what we want and expect on the something which is SUPPOSED to be
=from a totally different part of the galaxy, aren't we guilty of imposing
=our views on things? Isn't it a shame, when we could do ANY thing at all
=with a totally new, clean, slate, that we chose to use the same old forms
=that have been done to death already in our own tongue? Make it rhyme on
=the 3rd syllable only. Make it rhyme backwards. Make it rhyme by suffix
=class... ANYTHING! For pete's sake, don't do the same old boring thing.
=LIVE a little!!!
If Klingons were really aliens, believe you me, they would not be speaking
a language that follows every one of Greenberg's universals save the OVS one.
If Klingons were really aliens, they would not be humanoids, they would not
carry on about honour like a bunch of neurotic samurai, they would not be
talking in American accents on TV shows, etc. etc. Let's face it. Klingons
are our constructs; we imposed our views on them *ab initio*. The whole
*point* of Klingons is to be a reflection of parts of humanity Roddenberry
might have distanced himself from, but we don't. Or do you think there is
anything *new* about the Klingon code of honour?
And of course, just because rhyme is 'dead' in *your* culture (and artists
from Cole Porter to Metallica prove there's life in it yet), doesn't mean
it can't be exciting and fresh when applied to a new language. Which is what
Hol is. And live a little? I tell you: read the sonnets, and *then* tell me
they're dead. (And then read the Hecuba speech too, because, after everything
I've said, I do believe alternatives to rhyme should be explored.)
=I think that Klingon poetry, if it has any order imposed on it at all,
=would be more like the Japanese haiku and other forms. In those
=languages, the pattern provides the rhyme. it's listening for the sound
=of the syllables falling in a certain order that adds that audial element
=of beauty and suspense. Or perhaps Klingon has a combination rhyme
=scheme, like Chinese. Use patterns *and* an additional element. Suffix
=types? Number of suffixes? Rhyme with the time of day the poem was
=composed.... this shouldn't be some nice neat little bundle, ready to
=use by whoever stumbles across them. Poetry just isn't like that.
Now, given that you argued that Klingons are too spontaneous to rhyme, I
find it much more incredible that they would sit down and count 5-7-5
syllables; but that's beside the point. If you think rhyme is a neat bundle
that can be used by anyone, then (1) you haven't read enough badly rhymed
poetry; (2) you haven't read enough *well*-rhymed poetry. Rhyme is no
different to metre, syllable counts, tonal patterns in Chinese, complex
Classical metres, or alliteration (apart from it merely being out of fashion
in your culture). These are all an imposition of order, using finite resources.
Sure, anyone can stumble across and use them. So why isn't *everyone* doing
it? Because it requires skill, and flexibility, and bravado. This holds for
rhyme as much as suffix types, and number of suffixes, and the time of day,
and the phase of the moon.
=Perhaps a possible compromise would be to use rhymes for those works
=which rhymed in English, and are being translated, since that would be a
=sensible use of Klingon rhyme, giving them a taste of what an English
=poem would be like. But I have to, personally, abhor the notion of
=English rhymes in Klingon poems ... Klingon is far too pretty to limit
=this way.
As you please; I won't tell you how to write poetry. Personally, I abhor
the notion of Klingon poetry being merely chopped up verse, but I don't
think anyone's been guilty of that here. (I haven't read much of your verse,
Drujiv; I know David Barron's stuff in HolQeD was effective.)
Nick, who will keep on rhyming.