tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Jun 07 17:44:12 2005

Back to archive top level

To this year's listing



[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

Mr. Charles, revisited

bob mcfaddin ([email protected])



Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
I'm still ggoing over all the notes/ suggestions/ ideas and finishing up the last stanza of 
" choSovHa'chu' "...almost got it done. To take my mind off it...that is, to give me a slightly different (and hopefully better) perspective on the problems I'm encountering, I looked at something else.
Tell me if I did this any better:
 
tIqwIjvo' mIrmeyvam tIteq 'ej HItlhabmoH
pay' bIrchoH tIqlIj 'ej choSaHbe'choH
qavoqbe'choH 'ach SoHmo'
'oy'bejtaH tIqwIj riQqu'
tIqwIjvo' mIrmeyvam tIteq 'ej HItlhabmoH
 
(roughly:)
 
Remove these chains from my heart and release me!
Suddenly, your heart has become cold, and you don't care about me anymore.
I don't have faith in you anymore
but my badly injured heart keeps really hurting because of you
Remove these chains from my heart and release me!
 
(from the original:)
 
Take these chains from my heart and set me free
You've grown cold and no longer care for me
All my faith in you is gone
but the heartaches linger on
Take these chains from my heart and set me free
 
I tried to preserve both the spirit and the meter of the original song throughout... how'd I do?
 
p.s. with no word so far for "tear" except "water from the eye" to use in the phrase "Take these tears from my eyes and let me see..." (water from my eye from my eyes?), the second verse will be a real challenge...


jajvam lururbogh jajmey'e' lutu'lu' muja'ta' SoSoywI'

juDmoS
		
---------------------------------
Discover Yahoo!
 Stay in touch with email, IM, photo sharing & more. Check it out!





Back to archive top level