tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Oct 31 20:26:58 2001

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Re: KLBC: ghIj



>I intended recasting the whole thing so that instead of using it as a time
 > stamp (in ancient times) one would use it to describe the story in the
 > first sentence (this is a tale of old); perhaps repeated at end for
 > emphasis and/or symmetry.
 >
 >       lutna' tIQ 'oH lutvam
 >       lutna' tIQ qajatlh

DloraH:

>Yes, This could be used to get everyone's attention, like "gather 'round
>everyone, as I tell this tale of old..."  And because it is an ancient 
>story,
>the overall time stamp is in the ancient times; so even if the story has 
>time
>stamps like DaH and tugh, the reader/audience knows it is still long ago.

Very true. This has just given me an idea for translation... :) This idea 
seems to me reminiscent of a story about Kahless and Morath written by David 
Barron some time ago, in which the beginning few lines are:

yI'Ij.
(Listen up. This is a similar structure to DloraH's suggestion.)

lutvammo' batlh loDnI'pu' may' quvHa'ghach je ghojlu'.
(From this story, honour, brothers, battle and dishonour are learned.)

tagh lutvam...
(This story begins...)

This quite nicely summarises the story, and acts like a newspaper headline: 
If you like the description, you'll read the story. As well, this is the 
area in which the overall time stamp is set. In English literature, the 
overall time stamp isn't so explicit; it often lies in the tense (which 
Klingon lacks) and in the writing style (which often translates poorly into 
Klingon). But the overall time stamp is definitely the most important one in 
any literature. I like what has been done with this translation.

Qapla' 'ej Satlho'

ro'Han

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