tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Jan 15 10:39:10 2001

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KLIC: tlhIngan HIq vIngev / I star in a commercial selling Klingon beer




tayQo'wI' jIHbe' 'ej Ha'DIbaH jIHbe'.  tlhIng vIDabbe' 
'ej roqegh'Iwchab vISopbe' 'ej betleH vIghajbe'.
Qo'noS luDabbogh qor, qolotlh, qeng joq vISovbe' 'ach
povqu' 'e' vISovbej.  Qang vIghaj, DIvI'DevwI' vIghajbe'.
tlhIngan Hol vIjatlh, DIvI' Hol vIjatlhbe'.  'ej <<tlhIngan>>
jIjatlh, <<Klingon>> jIjatlhbe'.  wo'wIj Degh vItuQDI'
jIHem.  jIvang 'e' vImaS, jIjatlh 'e' vImaSQo'.  
batlh jIvang, Qu' ngeDmoHmeH neH jIvangbe'.  'ej
Hembej targh 'ej quvbej.  puvbogh 'ej wambogh Ha'DIbaH 'oH 
toQ'e', wep 'oH cheSvel'e'.  ghegh QuchDu', Habbe'qu', ghegh.  
<beta> jogh Dan tlhIngan wo', moQbara' juH wa'DIch 'oH,
'ej qIbDaq tlhIngan wo' nIv law' Hoch 'ay' nIv puS.
De'vID vIponglu', 'ej tlhIngan jIH!

I'm not a savage or an animal.  I don't live in Kling
or eat rokeg blood pie or own a batleth.  And I don't know Kor, 
Koloth, or Kang from Kronos, although I'm certain they're 
really, really nice.  I have a Chancellor, not a President.  
I speak Klingon, not Federation Standard.  And I pronounce 
it *tlh*Ingan, not Klingon.  I can proudly display my Empire's 
emblem on my uniform.  I believe in action, not talk.  
Honour, not expediency. And that the targ is a truly proud and 
noble animal.  A toQ is a Bird of Prey, a cheSvel is a 
coat.  And foreheads should be rough, not smooth, rough.
The Klingon Empire occupies the beta quadrant, is
the first nation of martial arts, and the best part of 
the galaxy.  My name is De'vID, and I am Klingon!

(For those of you who didn't get this, it's a parody of a 
popular beer commercial in Canada.  The commercial plays on
American stereotypes of Canadians, and I tried to parallel this
with presumed Federation stereotypes of Klingons. 
The original goes like this:

I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader. I don't live in an
igloo or eat blubber or own a dog sled. And I don't
know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm
certain they're really, really nice. I have a Prime
Minister, not a President. I speak English and French,
not American. And I pronounce it about, not aboot. I can
proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe
in peacekeeping, not policing. Diversity, not
assimilation. And that the beaver is a truly proud and
noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a
couch. And it is pronounced zed, not zee, zed. Canada is
the second largest landmass, the first nation of hockey
and the best part of North America. My name is Joe, and I
am Canadian!)

--
De'vID

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