tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Aug 01 15:37:51 2001
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vIghro' Say'moHlu'meH mIw (How to Wash the Cat)
- From: Andrew <[email protected]>
- Subject: vIghro' Say'moHlu'meH mIw (How to Wash the Cat)
- Date: Wed, 1 Aug 2001 15:34:15 -0400 (EDT)
'eH vIghro' QorghwI',
vIghro' DaSay'moHmeH mIw'e':
1. puch yISay'moHchu'.
2. puch bIQDaq yapmeH taS Say' yImuqmoH, 'ej poStaH Hoch yuvtlhe' 'e' yI'ol.
3. vIghro' yISuq 'ej yIleSmoHtaH, puchpa'Daq 'oH DaqengtaHvIS.
4. puchDaq vIghro' DalanmeH 'ej Hoch yuvtlhe' DaSoQmoHmeH, nom wa' tuH
Daqaghbe'bogh yIvang. (Haw'laH vIghro' 'e' botmeH, yuvtlhe'Daq
bIQamnISlaw'taH.) yIHoj: puch HeHvo' porgh Hoch 'ay'Du'lIj chuq yIleHtaH,
pe'vIl vay' 'uchmeH joqbejtaHmo' pachDu'Daj.
5. ngojchoH vIghro' 'ej bIQ, taS Say' je DuDchu'. puchvo' beymey tIqImHa',
vIghro' ma'bejmo' ghu'vam.
6. wejlogh loSlogh ghap puch bIQ yInatlhchu'. Say'moHmeH 'ej yIQmoHmeH
HoSghajqu'bej janqoqvam'e'.
7. Hur lojmIt poSmoHmeH vay' yIra', 'ej puchvo' lojmItDaq ghoSlu'meH Hevo'
nechmeH Hoch nuv tIra'.
8. puch 'o'Daq yIQam, yIHopchu', SIbI' Hoch yuvtlhe' tIpep.
9. DaH puchvo' vo''egh Say'choHbogh vIghro', HurDaq qet 'ej pa' QaD'eghmoH.
pItlh.
--targh
~~~
>Dear Cat Owner,
>
>Instructions for How to Wash the Cat:
>
>1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
>2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have
>both lids up.
>3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
>bathroom.
>4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
>lids (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.) CAUTION:
>Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be
>reaching out for anything they can find.
>5. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises
>that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
>6. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash"
>and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
>7. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are
>no people between the toilet and the outside door.
>8. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
>lids.
>9. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
>where he will dry himself.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>The Dog
--Andrew Strader
"How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us."
http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/~strader