tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Jun 27 20:18:49 1997

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Re: KLBC story: puyjaq



On Wed, 25 Jun 1997, Qov wrote:

| [...] Qu' parHa'qu' ghaH.   Sey'.
  and
| Sey'qu' chIjwI'.

<'> yIteq -- <Sey> DaghItlhnIS.

| <ghayan SepvamDaq tlhIlmey potlh lutu'lu'.  

ghaytan -- Hutlhba' <t>.
    ^
|qaStaHvIS Hogh law' yuQmey chu' nuD chIjwI' HoD je.  yuQ wejDIchDaq  
|SaH cha'puj toplIn je.  yuQ vaghDIchDaq tayqeq Hachqu' tu'lu' 'ej 
| [...] yuQ wa'maH vaghDaq baSmey qubqu' lutu'lu'. 

wa'maH vaghDIchDaq -- You used <-DIch> on the other two.
           ^^^^
| [...]  <wIquvlu'moHbej.  pop wIHev! mamIp!>

How about <mamIpchoH!> here?  Or would that be too Ferengi?

|qal ra'ghomquv 'e' Sov.  ghaytan Hegh Daqvam luSovbogh nuv'e'.  
                                  ^^^^        ^^
<-bogh> clauses have always confused me. Shouldn't this be:  
	ghaytan Daqvam luSovbogh nuv'e' Hegh. 
<ra'ghomquv> is still the subject, no?  And you're using <nuv> as an
unsuffixed plural here, "the people who know of this place"?

|
| - lutmey qon 'e' tIvbogh Qov'e'

'ej lutmey chu' DaqontaH 'e' vItIvqu' jIH!  

I do hope you're giving serious thought to submitting some of your
stories to _jatlhmey_ No. 3.  This one and <HIchDal> would be ideal.


-- Voragh



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