tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Sep 01 18:01:05 1996
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Re: commendation
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>Date: Fri, 30 Aug 1996 11:43:59 -0700
>From: [email protected] (Mike Rowe)
>I am making a commendation for my Master Instructor to present to him at a
>Martial Arts Seminar he is coming to town to give. He is an avid STAR TREK Fan
>and I wanted to give him a certificate I designed.
>I have the following:
>John Pellegrini naDvam naDtaH SovDajvaD Hub'eghlI' je' nobaDaj yajtaH
>tera'nganpu'
>This Commendation praises John Pellegrini for his knowledge of the Science of
>Self Defense and his great gift of understanding Terrans.
>This is open to all not the Grammar people.
I am a Grammar people, but I'm also still part of "all"... :)
Hrm. Let's start at the beginning.
"This commendation praises J.P." Staying with your "naD" for both "praise"
and "commendation" for now, check your word-order: J.P. is the object, so
it comes first (as you have it). "naDvam" is the subject, though, and it
has to come *after* the verb (which you have as "naDtaH"), not before.
"J.P. naDtaH naDvam."
"for his knowledge...." Don't be blinded by the "for" here and immediately
think "-vaD." "For" has zillions of meanings in English, and you have to
think which one is called-for here. "-vaD" means more "for the benefit of"
according to Okrand. What question is this prepositional phrase answering?
It's really answering the question "why is this commendation commeding
him?" The "-mo'" suffix would work well here. "SovDajmo' J.P. naDtaH
naDvam...." Bear in mind that things with type-5 noun suffixes have to come
*before* the object.
"Hub'eghlI'" is a verb: it is in the process of defending itself. This
gives us two main verbs in the same sentence, which is awfully confusing.
You want something for "knowledge of self-defence." What about "knowledge
in order to defend oneself"? That way we can make "Hub'egh" into a
subordinate clause and not have two main verbs. "Hub'eghmeH SovDajmo'
J.P. naDtaH naDvam...."
"je'" means feed or buy; you're probably thinking "je"/and, but that comes
after the two things being conjoined; we'll deal with its placement when we
have the things in question.
"nobDaj yajtaH tera'nganpu'" means "terrans are understanding his gifts."
You want "his great gift TO terrans." How about "The great gift which he
has given to terrans who understand"? It's a little wordy, but I think you
really need to put it that way. Though I myself would drop the
"understanding" since that's an English idiom for "sensitive" or
something. Maybe I'd replace it with "wise" or some such. "The great
gift" as you have can be "nob'a'" (that's what that extra a is doing in
your *nobaDaj; I didn't recognize it with the ''s missing). You can also
try tev'a' if you like. Think "He has given the great gift to Terrans":
"tera'nganpu'vaD nob'a' nobta'." Then to make it "the great gift WHICH he
has given," we simply put the relativizing suffix -bogh on the verb:
"tera'nganpu'vaD nob'a' nobta'bogh." Argh, but then we have to put -mo'
on that phrase, and while Nick would allow "tera'nganpu'vaD nob'a'mo'
nobta'bogh," I at least am not sure. You'd say the phrase after
"Hub'eghmeH SovDajmo'" and put "je" *afterwards* to join them.
As a diction point, "naD" as a noun to me sounds like the act of
commendation, not the paper itself. I might use ghItlh or possibly nav
instead.
~mark
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