Re: BG - THE LUCKY CAPTAIN - a klingon play

[Robyn Stewart <qov@direct.ca>]

If it's any consolation, no one ever read my story, either.  I'm hoping
they'll read Macbeth.  My corrections are quick and careless, I expect I
have missed a lot, and I haven't been picky.

At 14:04 23/09/96 -0700, you wrote:

}HoD Do'
}
}Doq: vajna' ghung la' je
}SuD: jupDaj la' je
}val: be'Hom val
}Qanqor: be'Hom vav
}
}
}lut 'ay' wa', lut 'ay'Hom wa'
}may'na'  Suvlu'pu'.  tachDaq ghom cha' la'.
}
}Doq:  Dunqu'pu' may'vam 'ach wa'leS may' Qob law'may'vam Qob puS.

watch word spacing
}
}SuD:  nuq jatlh?  wa'leS Qo'noS maghoSqa' 'ej nuquv qorDu'maj

nuqjatlh - one word
ghoS takes an object: wIghoS

}Doq:  SoHvaD batlh nob qorDu'lIj.  jIHvaD be'nal nob qorDu'wIj.
}
}SuD:  nuq? bISawrup'a'?
}
}Doq:  yIQIpQo'.  not Sawrupqu' loDna'.
}
}SuD:  (HaghtaHvIS) bISawnISqu''a'?
}
}Doq:  bIDoghqa'.  be'Hom vIqIHbe'.

Is he marrying a minor?  If the woman is nen why would he call her a child?
Get your old-fashioned English slang out of tlhIngan Hol, HoDDogh.

}SuD:  'ach bISawqang'a'?
}
}Doq:  'ejDo' vIghajqang.  yo' ra' be'Hom vavoy.  jISawchugh munum 'ej
}       Duj chu' vIHev.
}
}SuD:  Duj chu' DaHev'a'?  jIHvaD be'nI' ghaj'a'  ghaH
}
}Doq:  yISagh.  qoH vImojchoH.  qay' puqbe'Daj.
}
}SuD:  qay' nuq?
}
}Doq:  vulqangan DuSaQDaq HaDtaH ghaH.  Huj qechDaj.  mIS yabDaj.
}      tlhInganna' ghaH'a'?  'e' HonlaHbe' 'Iv.

Who is not able to doubt that?  I don't think you want the -laH

}SuD:  jIyajbe'
}
}Doq:  batlh ghojbe'. roj HaD.  Suvbe' ghojmoHwI'Daj.  Sutlh. jatlh.
}      meQbe'chugh ghojmoHwI'Daj tIqDu' meQlaH'a' tIqDaj?
}
}SuD:  'e' Sov vavDaj.  'e' DaHar'a'?
}
}Doq:  puqbe'DajvaD 'ejDo' mech.  lo'laHbe'mo' be'Hom tlhongnIs vav.

I love reading KLBC stuff, because when the person has to look up every word
anyway, they use a richer vocabulary than the person who has only memorized
half the mu'tay'.  Good word choices.

}SuD:  DaSawlaHbe'.  DuquvHa'moH tlhogh.
}
}Doq:  chaq bIlugh.  'ach Dujvam chu' ra'DI' DatDaq batlh vItu'.

You probably want a more active verb than tu'.  Sam chav qoj vIchup.

}SuD:  reH lugh charghwI' 'ach bIQap'a'?
}
}Doq:  Qapla' rurbe' be'nal chu'.  vulqanHey gharwI' rurqu' ghaH.  'ach
}      loghDaq jIlengtaHchugh 'ej Qo'noSDaq ratlhtaH DuyoywI' Duy' vaj
}      qay'be'.

You're using -oy ironically, which may not work in this culture.

}SuD:  batlh ghajbe nab.

' DachIl

}Doq:  Suvbogh vaj law' HIghbogh vaj  quv puS 'ach Qap HIghwI' 'ej reH yay
}tlha' batlh.
}
}SuD:  (HIvje' pep) 'oy' DaSIQjaj
}
}Doq:  nIteb jIbechbe'.  vavDaj DalIjbe'.

imperative: yIlIjQo'
---
Robyn Stewart   Qov@direct.ca    tlhIngan Hol ngotlhchu'wI'