tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Feb 01 21:47:18 1996

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Re: ropyaHDaq



ghItlh charghwI':

>While ghunchu'wI' has promised to comment on the post as a
>whole, I just have one line I want to comment on:

>>      <jIyaj.  chu'DI' to'baj 'uS 'oH nay''e' QaQ, 'ach ngo'choHDI' -
>>  SuQ.>

I agree this is a clunky sentence; I don't like ti that much myself
(especially the {nay''e'}), although I don't fully understand your 
point about using "to be" twice.  Are you saying that attributive
phrases should not be used in equational sentences?

However, I don't like your alternative, either:

>to'baj 'uS chu' Soplu'DI' QaQ nay', 'ach ngo'choHDI' SuQchoH.

This is actually how I had it at first, but I changed it because this
sentence lacks a parallelism I wanted to set up.  In my sentence, the
two halves compare states: "when fresh/when old", which your version 
entirely lacks: "when eaten/when old".

How about this for a simpler (too simple?) alternative:

chu'DI' QaQ to'baj 'uS, 'ach ngo'DI' SuQ.

>charghwI'

-- ter'eS



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