tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sat Nov 11 11:46:40 1995
[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
Re: Revision of help!
Fri, 10 Nov 1995, ghItlh Qogh:
> I have rewritten my original sentance as follows:
>
> ghaHDaq Qampu' SuvwI''a'pu' law'. ghaHDaq Qampu'mo' Qaw'lu'.
Many great warriors have stood on him/her. Because they have stood on
him/her, it destroys him.
Just a couple of comments... If you are trying your hand at writing Klingon
for the first time, it really is better that you give an accompanying
English translation. I can assure you that it would in no way influence
my translation of your Klingon, but it would influence my critique of the
sentence. You may write a grammatically correct sentence, and as a
result, I (or the next Beginners' Grammarian) may not comment on it; but
it's possible what you wrote may not mean what you are trying to say.
For example, {SuvwI''a'pu'} means "great warriors", that is, warriors who
are more than just typical warriors, it could refer to "mighty warriors" or
"champions" or an inherently large _type_ of warrior.
E.g. SuvwI''a' 'oHba' qeylIS'e' (Kahless is obviously a great warrior.)
But from the context of your sentence, I picture a bunch of large warriors
standing on someone, crushing him to death due to their weight. If that
is the case, I would say {SuvwI'pu' tIn} (big warriors) or {tISHa'bogh
SuvwI'pu'} (warriors who are heavy) instead.
It's also not clear if you are using the perfective {-pu'} correctly
here. It is one of the most common mistakes that people confuse aspect
with tense. {-pu'} indicates that the action is completed. {ghaHvaD
Qampu'} does not really mean "they stood on him", but rather "they have
stood on him" (they were standing on him, but now they are finished).
I think the last sentence make more sense if you move the perfective {-pu'}
from {Qam} and put it on {Qaw'}:
ghaHDaq Qammo' Qaw'lu'pu'. (Because they stand on him/her, it has destroyed
him. (or: he/she is destroyed))
As you probably realized, {Qaw'} should be listed as a verb, not a noun.
> Better?
Much. Let me know if they way I translated this is what you were trying
to say.
> Qogh.
yoDtargh