tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Jul 24 03:27:51 2015
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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Indie Movie translation
Great job on the translation, but I think you are missing a perfect opportunity to use the word {veghwI'}. To do so would explain the stilted English translation because there is no simple English translation, and it explains what this spirit does better than the literal "dweller".
Sent from my iPad
On Jul 22, 2015, at 11:58 AM, Robyn Stewart <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> Green light, green light. Dweller on the threshold come reap my vengeance".
>
> Mine:
> wovwI' SuD, wovwI' SuD.
> DIn DabwI', bortaSwIj DayobmeH HIghoS.
>
> "Green light, green light. Dweller at the threshold, come to me in order to harvest my vengeance."
>
> I presume that repeatedly addressing the green light is a requirement of the spell, thus necessary, regardless of her hurry.
>
> DIn is the open area just before a passage. I chose that over loOr because I'm not sure that a door is involved. So interpret the threshold as being the space between realms.
>
> jIHvaD bInoDmeH would be fine, if you're not attached to the agriculture metaphor.
>
> - Qov
>
>> On Jul 22, 2015, at 7:46, Steven Boozer <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> Chelsea Knauf:
>>> The context:"The scene as it happens is the climax of the film. The young
>>> woman, Ivy, has just had her eye gouged out by a three hundred year old
>>> warlock/mountain man. She breaks free screaming and retreats to a far side
>>> of the room. It’s dark and she pulls out a green amulet. Then she utters
>>> the spell you’re going to translate, the amulet glows green and fills the
>>> room with green light. The Warlock is pulled between our dimension and
>>> another. In that space between the two dimensions, a spirit attacks him
>>> and Ivy has her revenge."
>>>
>>> The phrase is "Green light, green light. Dweller on the threshold come reap my vengeance".
>>> My beginner attempt at translation: {wovwI' SuD, wovwI' SuD. bortaSwIj yItIv lojmitDaq DabwI'}
>>
>> My version:
>>
>> SuDwI', SuDwI'. lojmIt DabwI', bortaSwIj yIHev (or: yIlaj)!
>> "Green thing, green thing. Inhabiter of the door, receive
>> (or: accept) my vengeance!"
>>
>> {wovwI' SuD, wovwI' SuD} is a bit wordy for a quickly chanted spell. But if you like {wovwI'} "thing that is light/bright" another option is {wewwI'} "thing that glows". Since the "amulet glows green and fills the room with green light" you could also go with {wovmoHwI'} "light (device)" which was used in the Bird of Prey Poster: {telDaq wovmoHwI'mey} "Wing Lights". Whichever one you choose, I would only say it once as Ivy is in a bit of a hurry.
>>
>> "Dweller on the threshold" is not the subject of the sentence, but the person/being she is addressing. Eg. "John, close the door!" not "John closes the door." Also, when using {Dab} "reside in/at, dwell in/at" don't tag the place with {-Daq}: eg.
>>
>> Daqvam vIDab
>> "I live at this place" (st.k 7/99)
>>
>> qachvetlh vIDab
>> "I live in/at that building" (st.k 7/99)
>>
>> Qo'noS vIDab
>> "I live on Kronos" (st.k 7/99)
>>
>> Thus {lojmIt DabwI'} "thing/person that dwells in/at the door/gateway".
>>
>> In addition to the noun {bortaS} we have the verb {noD} "retaliate, seek revenge":
>>
>> batlh Heghlu'chugh noDnISbe' vay'
>> An honorable death requires no vengeance. TKW
>>
>> cheQIHchugh manoDbe''a'
>> Wrong us, shall we not seek revenge? TKW
>>
>> nurraj nIHlu'ta'mo' manoD
>> We will avenge your stolen pride (PB draft?)
>>
>> le'yo'raj nIHlu'ta'mo' penoD jatlh qeylIS
>> And Kahless spoke to them... about avenging their stolen pride PB
>>
>> All the known examples do not take an object, so we could say:
>>
>> lojmIt DabwI', [SoHvaD] jInoD.
>> "Dweller in/at the door/gateway, I will be avenged [on you]."
>>
>> I'm not sure about adding {SoHvaD}, but I'm sure others will share their opinions
>>
>>
>> --
>> Voragh
>> Ca'Non Master of the Klingons
>>
>>
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>
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