tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Mar 24 22:41:18 2014

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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] The Legend of Gorath part 4, with credits

De'vID ([email protected])



On Tue, Mar 25, 2014 at 4:22 AM, Brad Wilson <[email protected]> wrote:
> Grandfather: Noone was spared. So you see, [...]
> vavnI': pagh pollu'. yItu'. [...]

{pol} isn't the right verb for this. {pagh pollu'} sounds like no one
was put into storage. Qov's suggestion of being more direct with
{Heghpu' Hoch} is better. I second her comment about {yItu'} as well.
"So you see" is a kind of filler in English, it shouldn't be so
literally translated.

> Boy: But it was my first kill...
> loDHom: pagh HoHwIj wa'DIch 'oH...

Surely, {'ach} and not {pagh}?

Also, I'd suggest to rephrase noun-based sentences in English to be
verb-based ones in Klingon.

Something like {'ach targhvam vIHoHpa' not vIHoH} but less wordy.

> Grandfather: Yes, and it was clumsy.
> vavnI': HIja', 'ej Soy'pu'.

In English you say that a "kill" is "clumsy", but what you mean is
that the killer was clumsy while killing. I'm not sure {Soy'} can be
used like that. Perhaps {'ej DaHoHtaHvIS bISoy'}?

-- 
De'vID

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