tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Jan 26 06:57:17 2014
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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Klingon Jabberwocky
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<div style="direction: ltr;font-family: Tahoma;color: #000000;font-size: 10pt;">> I know it's been translated several times already. But I don't think any<br>
> of the translators are active in the KLI any more, though I could be wrong.<br>
<br>
I know of one previous translation:<br>
<br>
<a href="http://everything2.com/title/Jabberwocky+Translations"; target="_blank">http://everything2.com/title/Jabberwocky+Translations</a><br>
<br>
It has some nice elements, but it's quite ungrammatical in a lot of places.<br>
...though I suppose that isn't necessarily so terrible when translating a poem that is intentionally nonsensical.<br>
<br>
Anyhow, looking at the text you request be translated:<br>
<br>
== Stanza 1 ==<br>
<br>
> It was meal time<br>
<br>
A possible nonsense word for "brillig" would be something like *'uQvutpoH*, or "dinner-prepare-time".<br>
(I've marked *'uQvutpoH* with asterisks here to distinguish it as a nonsense word.)<br>
<br>
However, a fairly literal translation of the first line would be:<br>
<br>
{qaS nay' poH}<br>
<br>
<br>
> and the ChuSwI' were digging/burrowing.<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"></span></font></span><br>
<br>
There isn't really a word for "dig" or "burrow" in Klingon (that we know of).<br>
One way to recast this is to say that they were forming holes in the ground:<br>
<br>
{'ej QemjIqmey chenmoHtaH chuSwI'mey}<br>
<br>
If one wants to make up a nonsense word, one could do something like<br>
<br>
'ej *Qemmey* *jIqtaH* chuSwI'mey<br>
"And the noisy ones were *jIq*ing *Qem*s.<br>
<br>
or<br>
<br>
'ej *QemjIqtaH* chuSwI'mey<br>
"And the noisy ones were hole:ing."<br>
<br>
[[For those wondering, a *chuSwI'* is a type of burrowing rodent mentioned in one of Keith R.A. DeCandido's books.]]<br>
<br>
> Stirring/restless/unrestful were the blas rikas<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"></span></font></span><br>
<br>
The word "blas rika" comes from a Star Trek novel, and while it's described as a Kronosian animal, the name doesn't really make sense in tlhIngan Hol (though it might make sense in the less-developed language of klingonaase).<br>
One could approximate it as *bIlaSrIy'qa'* or something.<br>
<br>
Another alternative would be to use *puvmachQa'*.<br>
This is a word for "bat" which was jokingly used by a Star Trek novelist (I believe it was Dayton Ward) on Twitter. It's made up of three word: "fly-small-Qa'* (where a Qa' is a Kronosian animal, possibly resembling a large rodent).<br>
It's actually quite nonsensical, like *'uQvutpoH*, but it might be just right for this sort of thing.<br>
<br>
Going with this approach, the sentence might be translated with something like:<br>
<br>
bIttaH *puvmachQa'mey*<br>
"The *puvmachQa'*s were being nervous"<br>
<br>
jotHa'taH *puvmachQa'mey*<br>
"The *puvmachQa'*s were un-calm"<br>
<br>
> and the targs were grunting/making noises.<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"></span></font></span><br>
<br>
{'ej chuStaH targhmey.}<br>
"And the targs were being noisy."<br>
<br>
== Stanza 2 ==<br>
<br>
> <span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">“Beware/be careful of/be wary of the Ja'poWech', my son,</span></font></span><br>
<br>
{yIyep puqloD! *ja'powech* yIghuH!}<br>
"Be careful, son! Be wary of the ja'powech!"<br>
<br>
That's fairly literal. I kind of like the following sentence, which I believe obeys the meter of the original quite well:<br>
<br>
{yIyep puqloD! ghach *ja'powech*!}<br>
"Be careful, son! The ja'powech lurks!"<br>
<br>
If one is to be stringent with the grammar, however, it should really be:<br>
<br>
{yIyep'eghmoH puqloD! ghach *ja'powech*!}<br>
"Make yourself careful, son! The ja'powech lurks!"<br>
<br>
> <span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">the jaws that bite/its jaws bite<br>
<br>
{chop Ho'Du'Daj.}<br>
"Its teeth bite."<br>
<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">the claws that grip/catch/its claws catch/grip.</span></font></span><br>
<br>
{'uch pachDu'Daj.}<br>
"Its claws grip."<br>
<br>
> <span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">Beware/be careful of/be wary of the krencha<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">and the terrible/wild mll'oD.”</span></font></span><br>
<br>
Quite literally:<br>
<br>
{QIncha' yIghuH! // mIl'oD Qob yIghuH!}<br>
"Beware the krencha! Beware the dangerous sabre-bear!"<br>
<br>
I can't resist to mention that the syllable cha', which is last in {QIncha'}, is the first syllable of several bird names.<br>
<a href="http://klingonska.org/canon/search/?file=2001-12-holqed-10-4.txt&get=source"; target="_blank">http://klingonska.org/canon/search/?file=2001-12-holqed-10-4.txt&get=source</a><br>
Since the original text mentions here a "Jubjub bird", this opens up some potential for making up a new imaginary creature.<br>
Perhaps a *QIncha'naS*? This would be a combination of {QIncha'} (or "krencha"; a dangerous, reptilian predator) and {cha'naS} (a bird which digs up bugs to eat). It also sounds quite similar to {QIncha' naS}, which means "vicious krencha".<br>
<br>
One could then go for something like:<br>
<br>
{yIyep'eghmoH! QIncha'naS yIghuH! // yIyep'eghmoH! mIl'oD Qob yIghuH!}<br>
"Be careful! Beare the *QIncha'naS*! // Be careful! Beware the dangerous sabre-bear!"<br>
<br>
Or, reworking it a bit:<br>
<br>
{yIyep! naDev wam QIncha'naS // 'ej QobmoH HoSghajbogh mIl'oD.}}<br>
"Be careful! Here hunts the *QIncha'naS* // and the powerful sabre-bear makes it dangerous."<br>
<br>
</span></font></span>== Stanza 3 ==<br>
<br>
<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">> He took his honourable sword in hand/he grabbed his honourable sword</span></font></span><br>
<br>
{'etlhDaj quv lel.} = "He took out his honorable sword."<br>
{'etlhDaj quv 'uch.} = "He grabbed his honorable sword."<br>
<br>
One could also use *batlh'etlh*, meaning "honor-sword". This would essentially be taking the etymology of the word {betleH} ("bat'leth") and presenting it with modern Klingon words.<br>
I think you can get a rather Jabberwock-esque rhyme by referring to his sword as his "loyal honor-sword", or {*batlh'etlh* matlh}.<br>
<br>
{*batlh'etlh* matlh 'uch 'ej yanmeH lel.}<br>
"He grabbed the loyal honor-sword and took it out so as to wield it."<br>
<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">And looked for his/the enemy.<br>
<br>
{jaghDaj qu' nejtaH mInDu'Daj.}<br>
"His eyes were seeking for his fierce enemy."<br>
<br>
> </span></font></span></span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">He rested for a while/short time<br>
<br>
{qaStaHvIS poH ngaj leStaH ghaH.}<br>
"During a short while, he was resting."<br>
<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">and stood thinking/brooding.<br>
<br>
{leStaHvIS ghaH Qu'Daj QubtaH.}<br>
"As he rested, he was thinking of his mission."<br>
<br>
== Stanza 4 ==<br>
<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">While he was thinking/standing/brooding<br>
<br>
{leStaHvIS 'ej QubtaHvIS ghaH}<br>
"While he was resting and thinking"<br>
<br>
</span></font></span></span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">> the Ja'poWech' came/appered</span></font></span><br>
<br>
{ghaH nuD *ja'powech* qul mInDu'.}<br>
"the fire-eyes of the ja'powech studied him."<br>
<br>
> shaking the ground/making the ground shake<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"></span></font></span><br>
<font size="1"><font face="arial,sans-serif">> </font></font>and roaring terribly/making a horrible noise.<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"></span></font></span><br>
<br>
{pe'vIl jachchoH Ha'DIbaH naH // 'ej QommoH choltaHbogh jIvvo'.}<br>
<br>
"The aggressive animal started to scream forcefully // and the approaching villain caused the ground to shake."<br>
<br>
Here, I figured there was potential to make these two lines mirror two form the previous stanza:<br>
<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">> {yIyep! naDev wam QIncha'naS // 'ej QobmoH HoSghajbogh mIl'oD.}</span></font></span><br>
<br>
== Stanza 5 ==<br>
<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">
<div style="margin-top:14pt;margin-bottom:0;">> Again and again/over and over<br>
<br>
<br>
{jop 'ej way' ghIq *law'logh* jopqa'.}<br>
"He lunged and deflected then *manitime* lunged again."<br>
<br>
Here *law'logh* is a nonsense word, using the template <N>logh (meaning "N times"; for example, {wa'logh} = "once", {cha'logh} = "twice"), but using the verb {law'} ("be many") instead of a number.<br>
<br>
A more grammtical alternative:<br>
<br>
{jop ghaH 'ej way' ghIq jopqa' ghaH.}<br>
"He lunged and defended, then he lunged again."<br>
<br>
{jop 'ej way'. jopqa' 'ej way'qa'.}<br>
"He lunged and deflected. Here lunged and deflected again."<br>
<br>
<span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">> with great skill<br>
> he attacked with his honourable sword<br>
<br>
{*batlh'etlh* matlh yantaHvIS po'qu'.}<br>
"He was very skilled while wielding the loyal honor-sword."<br>
<br>
> With a mighty cut/strong cut/strong blow<br>
<br>
{jaghDaj Hugh HIv; SIj 'ej chevchu'.}<br>
"He attacked his enemy's throat; he slit and totally separated it."<br>
<br>
> The took its head/chopped off its head/cut its head<br>
> and returned home.<br>
<br>
{nach mob tlhap 'ej juHDajDaq qem.}<br>
"He took the lone head and brought it to his home."<br>
<br>
== Stanza 6 ==<br>
<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">“My son, you have killed the Ja'poWech'!</span></font></span><br>
<br>
{Qapla' puqloD! Hegh ja'powech!}<br>
"Success, son! The ja'powech died!"</span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;"><br>
<br>
> </span></font></span><span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">Come to my arms/let me embrace you/ let me give you honour.</span></font></span></div>
</span></font></span><br>
{HIjaH! qaquvqu'moH vIneH!}<br>
"Come to me! I wish to give you much honor!"<br>
<br>
> <span dir="ltr"><font face="arial,sans-serif" size="1"><span style="font-size:13px;">We shall have a feast today/we shall feast/we shall celebrate.”<br>
<br>
</span></font></span>{DaHjaj malop! 'uQ'a' wISop!}<br>
"Today we celebrate! We eat a great dinner!"<br>
<br>
> Said his proud/happy father<br>
<br>
{jatlh Sub vav Hem, puqloD leghDI'.}<br>
"Said the hero's proud father, when he saw the son."<br>
<br>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------<br>
<br>
Well, there's a rough draft, anyway, that can be modified to fit one's taste.<br>
I don't think it'd be impossible to fit it to a consistent meter and rhyming structure, though it would take some effort and probably require one to diverge still further from a literal translation.<br>
<br>
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<div style="direction: ltr;" id="divRpF91976"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma" size="2"><b>From:</b> De'vID [[email protected]]<br>
<b>Sent:</b> Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:49<br>
<b>To:</b> Richard Svensson; KLI<br>
<b>Subject:</b> Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Klingon Jabberwocky<br>
</font><br>
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<div></div>
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<p dir="ltr"><br>
On Jan 26, 2014 8:56 AM, "Richard Svensson" <<a href="mailto:[email protected]"; target="_blank">[email protected]</a>> wrote:<br>
> BUT I need to find someone willing to help me out with the translation of the poem into Klingon; not an exact copy with rhymes and the same rythm, but rather its own version.<br>
> Is there anyone at the institute who would be willing to offer me this help, or do you know of any other potential forum where I should ask?</p>
<p dir="ltr">I know it's been translated several times already. But I don't think any of the translators are active in the KLI any more, though I could be wrong.</p>
<p dir="ltr">-- <br>
De'vID</p>
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