tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Feb 03 14:06:59 2014
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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] romyo' julyet je: bI'reS
- From: "De'vID" <[email protected]>
- Subject: Re: [Tlhingan-hol] romyo' julyet je: bI'reS
- Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2014 23:06:44 +0100
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<p dir="ltr"><br>
QeS 'utlh:<br>
> romyo' julyet je: bI'reS</p>
<p dir="ltr">> nur rap lughajbogh cha' tuqmey tu'lu',<br>
> vero'na' 'IHDaq qaS ghe'naQmaj Dun;<br>
> muStaHghachDaj tIQvo' chenchoH Seng chu',</p>
<p dir="ltr">I don't think you can say {X-vo' chenchoH Y} unless X is a physical place. I'd express this as {Y chenchoHmoH X}, but that messes up your rhyming scheme.</p>
<p dir="ltr">QeS 'utlh:<br>
> ghopDu' mIl HoQmoH quv ghajbogh 'Iw chun.<br>
> HeghmoHbogh cha' gholpu'vam tuqmeyvaD<br>
> yInnIS[1] bang chang'eng 'e' maq QI'tu' San.<br>
> [1] The English here is "a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life", in which "take their life" could carry meanings of both birth and suicide. I couldn't work out a decent wordplay as written, but {yInnIS} "they need to live" could alternately be read as {yIn nIS} "they disrupt lives".</p>
<p dir="ltr">{nargh yInchaj} "their lives appear/escape"? Just a thought.</p>
<p dir="ltr">QeS 'utlh:<br>
> vangHa'pu' chaH: tIvup! cha' tuqchaj qaD,<br>
> 'ej Heghchajmo' cha' tuq yol ngo' luvan.<br>
> taHqu'taHbogh parmaqqayvetlh chuD QeH,</p>
<p dir="ltr">I had trouble understanding that {QeH} was a noun, rather than an adjective modifying {chuD}. Also, possibly {chuD} is too broad for "parents". It would also help to put in explicit plural markers.</p>
<p dir="ltr">QeS 'utlh:<br>
> parmaqchaj'e' bejbogh Hegh je wImuch;<br>
> yol Qaw' puq yIn lughanglu'pu'bogh neH,</p>
<p dir="ltr">Good contrast between {ghang} and {van} used two lines above.</p>
<p dir="ltr">QeS 'utlh:<br>
> DaH vaSmajDaq cha' rep lutvam wIruch.[2]<br>
> [2] Though strictly we don't have canon for it, I like using {ruch} in this way. From the glosses "proceed", "go ahead", "do it", and the sense of the canon examples we do have, I don't think a transitive sense of "get on with" (as ?{Qu'lIj yIruch} "get on with your mission!") is a long stretch.</p>
<p dir="ltr">?{Qu'lIj yIruch} looks to me like it's missing a verb. I would write this as {Qu'lIj yIchav, yIruch!} ?{lutvam wIruch} looks to me like it's missing something for the same reason. What are we doing with {lut}? {bej}? {ja'}? {much?}</p>
<p dir="ltr">I interpret {targhlIj yIngagh, yIruch} as {targhlIj yIngagh, [targhlIj Dangagh 'e'] yIruch}, where the part in [brackets] is implicit. But I could be wrong in my interpretation.</p>
<p dir="ltr">QeS 'utlh:<br>
> rIn bI'reS, 'ach vay' Qoybe'lu'pu'chugh,<br>
> tuvchugh teSDu', yajmoHjaj muchmaj Dugh.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The original is directed to the watcher, rather than an indefinite person, and I think it's better if it's kept the same.</p>
<p dir="ltr">> In English:<br>
><br>
> Two households, both alike in dignity,<br>
> In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,<br>
> From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,<br>
> Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.<br>
> From forth the fatal loins of these two foes<br>
> A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;<br>
> Whose misadventured piteous overthrows<br>
> Do with their death bury their parents' strife.<br>
> The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,<br>
> And the continuance of their parents' rage,<br>
> Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,<br>
> Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;<br>
> The which if you with patient ears attend,<br>
> What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.</p>
<p dir="ltr">-- <br>
De'vID<br>
</p>
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