tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu May 21 20:01:16 2009
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Re: reH ru'Ha' pagh. chut 'oH
- From: Terrence Donnelly <[email protected]>
- Subject: Re: reH ru'Ha' pagh. chut 'oH
- Date: Thu, 21 May 2009 19:59:19 -0700 (PDT)
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- In-reply-to: <[email protected]>
Pretty good, at first glance.
--- On Thu, 5/21/09, Brent Kesler <[email protected]> wrote:
> Hello, all,
>
> I'd like to share a (loose) translation I've been
> working on. It's a
> passage from the Lotus Sutra. It figures prominantly in
> "Samurai
> Executioner", a manga I like.
>
> tlhIngan Hol:
> reH ru'Ha' pagh. chut 'oH
> HeghnIS yIn, yInnIS Hegh
> rInDI' yIn, rInDI' Hegh
> vaj paghmo' belqu' Hoch
>
> Original:
> All things are impermanent.
> This is the law of life and extinction.
> When both life and extinction perish,
> Nirvana will be bliss.
>
> I tried to be a little creative based on my understanding
> the passage.
> I might need to explain some of my decisions, but I'd
> like to see
> what people think first.
>
I don't understand {-DI'} working the way you've done here. I always took it to mean "as soon as", while I think you want it to say "after", for which I'd use {-ta'DI'}. Also, {vaj} implies a consequence, but here I think you just want the sequence of time, or {ghIq}.
--ter'eS