tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Jun 28 06:31:17 2009
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Re: Translation of short poem.
qa'vaj wrote:
> I'm working on translating two short poems, one is famous, the other less
> so. I've reached the endpoint of my own ideas for the first so here it is:
>
> weQwIj'e' er'InDaq megh'anDaq je meQtaH
> qaSpu'pa' ram lojba'
>
> 'a juppu'wI' petu' 'ej jaghpu'wI' peSaH
> wovtaHvIS qu' HoSna'
>
>
> original:
>
> My candle burns at both ends;
> It will not last the night;
> But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends-
> It gives a lovely light.
>
> -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
>
>
> I decided to not be too literal with 'lovely'.
>
If we play fast and loose with the grammar, we might be able to get both
rhyme AND meter (more or less):
meQ weQwIj 'er'In, megh'an;
qaSpu'DI' ram lojba';
'a jupwI' jaghwI' je, Hoch ngan—
wovtaHvIS qu' HoSna'.
or
weQwIj megh'an, 'erIn meQlu'
qaSpu'DI' ram lojba';
'a SuH jaghpu' 'ej SuH juppu'—
wovtaHvIS qu' HoSna'.
If you fiddle with it some more, you might find other, better alternatives.
--
SuStel
tlhIngan Hol MUSH
http://trimboli.name/mush