tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Aug 27 18:16:32 2003

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if Robert Herrick had been Klingon...

Summer Medel ([email protected]) [KLI Member] 

The original:

Upon Julia's Clothes

When as in silks my Julia goes,
Then, then (methinks) how sweetly flows
The liquefaction of her clothes.

Next, when I cast mine eyes and see
That brave vibration each way free;
O how that glittering taketh me!


Now, with a Klingon twist:

QIv bIQtIq.  jaHDI? /jul?ya?/wI?,
baS tun lang rurDI? SutDaj ?IH,
boch Sutvam chuS ?e? reH vIbuS.

nIvnavDaj peQchal vI?elDI?,
QIt HIq SISDI? DIrjevDaj wIH,
pay? Doghjey nuSbe? chup Duj QuS.


Translation of what I think the Klingon version said:

The river is inferior.  When my Julia goes,
When her beautiful clothes resemble soft thin metal,
I always obsess about the shining of that noisy clothing.

When I enter the magnetic sky of her pajamas,
When her skin?s ruthless storm slowly rains liquor,
Suddenly a [conspiring ship/instinct or ship conspiracy/instinct conspiracy] 
recommends not to scorn unconditional surrender.


I think this could be one of those poems that lovesick Klingon men read to 
the furniture-hurling objects of their affections.

Opinions?  Did it go beyond poetic license, grammatically or otherwise?  For 
one thing, I was dubious about using /jev/ as a noun.  For another, I hope 
the last line holds up, twisted though it is to make the internal rhyme 
work.  I felt it was okay not to include an 'e' there because /chup/ 
(recommend) can be considered a speech verb.

ghemlIy

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