tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Jun 28 11:55:39 1999
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RE: KLBC bom cha'DIch 'e' qon - ghItlh wa'DIch
- From: "Andeen, Eric" <[email protected]>
- Subject: RE: KLBC bom cha'DIch 'e' qon - ghItlh wa'DIch
- Date: Mon, 28 Jun 1999 11:56:32 -0700
jatlh Qor'etlh:
> jatlh jIH:
>>> bom cha'DIch'e' qon:
jIjatlh:
>> qon 'Iv?
> qon jIH. qar'a'?
vaj moHaq Dalo'nIS: <jIjatlh> <vIqon>.
>>> 'ach taDmoH Dir HoSHa',
>>> And though the cold brittles the flesh,
>> I don't understand what <HoSHa'> is doing here. If it's
>> meant to represent "the cold", it doesn't work. <-Ha'>
>> is a verb suffix, so attaching it to the noun <HoS>
>> doesn't work. <muD bIrqu'> is probably best.
> HoS is also a verb (sorry, it's one of those).
It is indeed a verb as well as a noun, but while you're using it as a noun,
you cannot use a verb suffix.
>> Finally, the <'ach> does not make much sense here.
>> It probably goes with the next line.
> Yes, more so, but I wanted these to match in
> cadence, as well as inference.
>
> I was working on a verb based phrase, not the literal
> translation of the English. I also need to follow the
> 'sound', matching the number of syllables, as much as
> possible. I'm going to be speaking this part, at the
> same time as someone else is telling the English
> "translation."
This is where I cannot help. I am always willing to help with grammar,
meaning, and even style, but I don't usually have the ability or the
interest to deal with poetic things like meter.
> DIr taDmoH muD bIrqu',
>>> Qu'tlhegh'e' ghorQo'.
>>> The chain of duty cannot be broken,
>> <Qu'tlhegh> is fine, although you could also
>> consider <Qu' mIr>.
> Yes, well here again, I'm going for a more Klingon
> meaning, and not necessarily a literal translation.
> While {mIr}; chain, is more accurate, I've found
> {-tlhegh} is used more often to describe more lines,
> chains-of-command, and other components in our
> language.
I suggested <mIr> because it's not often used, so you might not have thought
of it. For this sort of thing, I would only use <mIr> if I wanted to
strongly identify with the metaphor of a heavy, clanking metal chain. If
that is not your intention, then <tlhegh> is definitely better.
> I could use opinions from the Peanut Gallery
> on this matter.
KLBC Dalo'mo', jIjang jIH neH net chaw'. jIjangta'DI', jangchoHlaH latlhpu'.
>> There may be a problem with <ghorQo'>, though.
>> What does the English mean? The stumbling block
>> is the "cannot". Does that mean that nothing can
>> break it?
> ghobe'
>> Does it really mean "must not", in that some
>> entity commands or requires that it not be broken?
> HISlaH!
> Duty demands that the chain remain unbroken.
>> Does it mean that the unspecified subject refuses
>> to break it. Based on the rest of the text, I
>> suspect it is the first. Adding the <'ach> from above:
>> 'ach Qu'tlhegh'e' ghorlaH pagh,
> Yes, ok, nothing can break it.
> I'll have to stew on this. More later today.
It sounds like you need to think on this one a bit more. Nothing wrong with
that - it took me about a year and a half to come up with the climax in the
story I have been writing.
pagh
Beginners' Grammarian
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