tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Feb 02 22:11:40 1996
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Re: KLBC: Some poetry
- From: [email protected] (Alan Anderson)
- Subject: Re: KLBC: Some poetry
- Date: Sat, 3 Feb 1996 02:12:33 -0500
Lenny writes:
> here's my try on Klingon poetry:
Poetry is tricky stuff to analyze. Poems sometimes "bend the rules"
of grammar a bit, and often get away with it. But what is beautiful
music to one can be mere noise to another; the "correctness" of such
a subjective work is open to interpretation.
While I'll try not to be too strict, I will still point out whatever
grammatical oddities I see. Since you intend this as poetry, I will
also try not to rephrase what you wrote, since that could be seen as
corrupting your creativity. :-)
> Heghpu'bogh SuvQo'bogh loD yIQoy.
"Hear the man who won't fight who has died." Though it doesn't break
any rules, this sentence seems very unclear. My first reaction is to
say "Well, of *course* he won't fight; he's dead!"
> tam jochtaH.
"He is quiet he continuously shouts." Two main verbs in one sentence
is not normal. You can't use a verb as if it were an adverb.
Oh, and {jach} is spelled with an {a}.
> nuq chuS law'laH loD'e' chuS puS ?
I don't think even poetry ought to mess with the standard form of the
{law'/puS} construction. You don't put affixes on the {law'}, or the
{puS}, or on the verb of comparison. And I don't understand your use
of {-'e'} on {loD}.
> This is supposed to mean:
>
> Hear the dead man who refused to fight. He continues to shout
> silently.
> What can be louder than him?
I hope I haven't smothered your muse completely.
-- ghunchu'wI' batlh Suvchugh vaj batlh SovchoH vaj